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10 Things you can control right now.

There are so many things in this life that we can’t control. The weather, the opinions of others, who our next prime minister will be, and certainly not the impact of COVID-19 on our society.

“We need to focus on what we can control, rather than what we can’t, because if you spend too much time trying to control the weather, you’ll miss out on the sun.”

There are so many things in this life that we can’t control. The weather, the opinions of others, who our next prime minister will be, and certainly not the impact of COVID-19 on our society. We can try and sway people by being the YES-MAN, we can vote in every election and we can pray every day for the sun. But the reality is, if we spend our life fighting against the rain, everything else in life passes us by too.

As cliche as it sounds, we need to focus our energy on what we can control, as opposed to what we can’t. Not only does this help our outlook on life and our mental health, but it removes us from the daily grind of autopilot and forces us to focus on being more aware of ourselves.

Image from Annie Spratt

10 Things you can control RIGHT NOW.

How you interpret a situation.

You can’t control how someone interacts to or with you. But you can control how you choose to interpret it a situation. Step back and think about how you’re going to react before it happens. What are you thinking and why? What can you do right now, and what should you take away from this? How the other person reacts is outside your control, as are the emotions or feelings attached to their reaction. The sooner we learn that we can’t control others around us, the easier it becomes to focus on our own reactions.

How you treat others.

Kindness. Forgiveness. Warmth. Compassion. These are only a few ways that you can positively choose to treat people. I’m a firm believer in karma, and what you put out into the world will come back to you. Some would even say it comes back threefold! So, I’m always cautious about treating people fairly and compassionately.

That does not mean that you are free to be walked over! Do not allow someone to undermined your or treat you disrespectfully. Refer to the above point on how you can approach those situations mindfully.

Image from
Mei-Ling Mirow
What articles/blogs/books you read. 

The media we consume can be the making or breaking of our mental health. If you’re constantly looking at models who face tune, and generally alter their photos, how does that impact how you feel about yourself? Does that make you feel good about your unaltered body in its natural state? No, of course not.

While weaning myself back to social media in February 2019 after an extended break, I made a point to unfollow all the accounts that caused me harm. That meant having to make harsh decisions when it came to my friend’s list too, as some of them constantly promoted weight loss. Sadly, that also meant unfollowing a great few people on Instagram who were in recovery. Not because I didn’t want to support them, but because their own recovery bodies/pre-recovery bodies/the words they used triggered me so intensely.

Remember. You’re in control of the media you consume. If you’re in a dark place and continue to read nothing but triggering content, chances are you won’t be leaving that place anytime soon.

When you ask for help. 

Asking for help is hard. I’m not going to sit here and deny that. But making the choice to allow yourself to ask someone, anyone, for help is up to you. If and when you decided to ask for help, remember, you are brave. Possibly the bravest you’ve ever been. You should be so, so proud of yourself.

Whether or not you eat. 

This is so important whether or not you’ve had prior food-related issues. Our bodies need nourishment and hydration throughout the day. Even if you’ve just eaten, if you’re still hungry, then honor it. Don’t wait until you’re actively thirsty, keep a bottle of water or juice near you at all times. The more we nourish ourselves, the better we function as both people and living beings.

By allowing yourself to eat you’re topping up the resources your body needs to keep going. Hunger causes so much unbalance and often leaves us unproductive, lethargic, and hangry!

How many times you say ‘I love you‘.

This might seem like a very silly thing, but you have no idea how important those three little words can be. ‘I Love You’ can never be said enough to the ones you hold dear.

Whether or not you judge other people. 

You can’t control if other people judge you, but you can control your judgment of others. It takes practice, and won’t happen overnight. If you work in an environment where the bitching is high, it can be even harder. BUT no one likes being judged, especially unfairly.

“When you catch yourself saying or thinking judgemental things, mentally pull yourself aside and remind yourself that you don’t like it, so nor would they!“

Image from
Third Serving
How much time you spend worrying. 

I’m an anxious person by nature, and I get how easy it is to get drawn into worrying. There is certain things we can do though. We can stop ourselves mid-worry, and gently take one step at a time.

  • What am I worrying about?
  • Will worrying about it now change anything?
  • Is there anything I can do, or is it out of my control?

I used to worry about all the things that I really couldn’t control. On occasion, I still do, but I’ve learned to walk through it slowly in my head and determine if it’s really helping anything.

“Worrying never robs tomorrow of it’s sorrow, it only saps today of it’s joy.”

Leo.F. Buscaglia.
How you speak to yourself.

Controlling what we say to ourselves is so, so important. The internal conversations we have with ourselves can make or break our mental health. Being positive and compassionate builds a healthier level of self-esteem than if we are always talking down to ourselves.

Think before you speak. Is it helpful? Are you being overly critical? Would you say it to your best friend? No to all of these? Go back and try again.

Speak to yourself how you would speak to your friends, your nieces, nephews or even your kids!

The effort you put in.

Put in the effort in your recovery and you’ll reap the benefits. Don’t kill yourself, but always do your best in every situation and you’ll never have any regrets about your performance. 

What else do you think is within your control?

These are only a small selection of the things in life which are well within your control, no matter the situation. Don’t burden yourself with worries that aren’t yours to carry. Do what you can for yourself and the ones you love, and STOP high jacking the worries of others.

Easier said than done, right?

136 comments

  1. Yes these are definitely 10 things you can control right now for sure! Thanks so much for sharing this awesome article!

  2. Love this! I’m a big fan of focusing on what you can control and letting go of those things you can’t.

    Corinne x

  3. This was a really inspiring post! you are so right for each and every one of your suggestions. I am also an anxious person and tent to worry almost about everything. I know that almost in any case just being worried about something will never help.
    thank you for sharing! loved it!

  4. Such a great list, Nyxie, and the one that resonates most with me is how we speak to ourselves. A friend (who’s also a confidence coach) always told me to imagine I was speaking to my best friend and then apply that frame of mind to how I speak to myself – works nearly every time for me!

  6. These are great tips. I know we should really control what we speak and what we think. It’s also about respect. I think the media / social media really plays a vital role to it.

  7. You make great points as to what we can control. I always remind people we are in control of our actions and our reactions.

  8. This is a great reminder to ourselves. When situations become too chaotic, it’s still nice to know that there are things within our control.

  9. Brilliant post! It’s so important to take of yourself by fueling your body with food ???? Love that you included to ask for help xx

  10. I am a control freak, which sometimes makes things difficult. I totally made a new client mad yesterday trying to explain my job’s check-in procedure. I don’t know how to change that – I want to make sure clients are following directions, but I also don’t want to piss people off.

  12. Such a good read article. Especially the “ask for help” part. I struggle with that the most. True, its not easy but at some point we have to do it and it’s ok.

  13. This is such a great article. These are definitely things you can control right now for sure. Thanks for sharing

  14. This is such a great article. These are definitely things you can control right now for sure!

  15. I love these tips. I read somewhere that situations are neutral – we apply meaning to them and how we interpret and react to a situation is up to us. Easier said than done of course but it’s interesting to consider.

  18. I absolutely LOVE this post. There are so many things we can’t control. It’s much better to focus on the things that we can instead of obsessing over what we can’t change.

  20. Yes to this! There are so many things we can control in our lives and thoughts and how we treat ourselves and others can not be underestimated in terms of their impact on our lives.

  21. I love this! I have a hard time dealing with things that I can’t control. So it’s nice to know that for these things, I can.

  23. Loved the first saying..that is really very deep and inspiring..we can do anything if we have a will to do but inspite of that there are also certain things which are not in our hands..but wasting time on thinking about those things is completely useless…Your all points and ideas are really amazing..this blog means very helpful..Thanks for sharing…

  25. I have struggled with most of these at some point in my life. It was actually good for me to read this and see how far I have come. I have a ways to go, but I’m doing okay right now! 🙂 <3

  28. Nice post! Really tight read. It’s such a powerful concept considering what is under our control- sometimes, as by demonstrated by your post, there is so much.
    I love the idea of questioning those obvious shoulds that we all carry around, even if it’s just as a reminder that we actual so much more choice and control than we often believe. Eg Who says I have to turn into work on Monday- yes I’m meant to, but what could happen if i didn’t.
    One of my earliest posts was on self talk

    (could maybe do with a little editing love).
    Peace and love,
    Spence ????

  30. Thank you for posting this. Hearing things like this always help me to shift my perspective. I’m also a worrier by nature but if I can’t control what I’m worrying over, I just end up tying myself into knots. Loved your advice. 🙂 x

  32. It’s easy to feel out of control. This week is a prime example of me feeling like that. All the major things went wrong and I just lost sight of what I could control, which was ultimately how I reacted to the situations. As a result I didn’t take it well and fell into a depression.I need to remind myself constantly that I am in control of a lot more than I think.

  35. The gif with the dog stroking the human’s head was so mesmerising I’ve been staring at it for hours!

    I very often fall into the trap of thinking that I’m not in control of anything. I think because I forget about the little things…like how I got overwhelmed with my phone beeping at me so I turned off all social media push notifications and that was me taking control of the situation in a more useful way that rage deleting all my social media (particularly my blogging accounts!).
    Then there’s the autonomy I enjoy of choosing what I want to drink – something I’m even more in control of now I have my little coffee maker in my room.

    I just, I feel so out of control of the big things in my life that I forget about the control I have over the little things.

    Thanks for the reminder <3

  39. Another fantastic post. I love coming to your blog to read such thoughtful content. Really well done. It’s very encouraging to read posts like this one. It makes me feel so much more hopeful and.. *drum rolls* in control.

  40. Thanks for sharing. These are really great reminders that we are in control of more things that we know. I know it was a reminder for me.

  41. Great post. Another thing we control, to a certain extent, is who we spend our time with. They say our happiness level is the average of the happiness level of the 5 people we spend the most time with – so we need to choose wisely when we can!
    Joan Senio
    My Best Friend Adeline
    https://kindness-compassion-and-coaching.com

  43. My therapist is constantly telling me all of these things! I just need to take my own advice, and her’s, onboard more often. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading.

  45. I am sending you the best of luck for your exams. I couldn’t imagine having to go through all that stress again! Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read pet 🙂

  48. Thanks for sharing! Somehow it reminded me of my therapist, she used to say something similar. My inner control freak needs to hear this once in a while so thank you. Great post as always.

  50. This is so true! So many people judge others too quickly and it’s such a negative thing that’s now popular in society! Also with the effort, I agree, I procrastinate so much but I put in every effort I could for my exams and I hope it’s paid off!
    -Kyra

  56. I always struggle with interrupting these thoughts. Some days are better than others, but it’s a constant struggle. That’s why I took the time to write this; To not only help myself but others too.

  58. Thank you so much for stopping by. I’m glad you enjoyed this post. I am a chronic worrier but I’m slowly learning to take myself away from that and focus on something else within my control.

  66. Worry is my big enemy but I’m working to get out of it. Easier said than done as I’m sure you know! Thank you so much for stopping by and reading, I’m glad you found this useful 😀

  68. It’s all too easy to slip backwards, as I now understand. And that makes it all the harder to get back up again.
    Thank you so much for stopping by and reading 🙂

  70. I am a chronic worrier. I worry about being worried. I feel for you going up against anxiety pet, it’s a killer! Sending you lots of love and thank you so much for stopping by 🙂

  71. Love this post – bookmarking it so I can read it again as I know I need to continue to work on my mindest and stop worrying about the things I can’t control!

  74. I unfollowed a lot of people when I came back to social media and filled my timeline with positivity! It helps so, so much!

  77. I’m a massive control freak too and it’s so hard to pull yourself away from that sometimes. Thank you for stopping by and reading.

  82. That’s amazing to hear and such a positive change he made just by switching how he thought. Thank you so much for sharing that.

  83. Exactly. We can control how we respond to the situation, negatively or positively. Although, I wish it were as easy as that.

  88. yes yes yes! It’s so easy to have a pity party instead of changing your mindset. When I started concentrating on some of the things you mentioned, especially number 1, it really helped my overall mental health! Great post xx

  90. You make some great points here! It’s so easy to play the victim and hand over control to society or to the people who are introducing negativity into our lives, but the truth is that we ultimately hold the power and control in our own lives! We may not be able to control the circumstances, but we have full control over how we respond!

  91. Love this – I was recently coaching a client who was wasting a ton of energy worrying about his wife losing her job because of a department reorganisation (and she was a “political appointment”)

    We did a small exercise of “what’s under your control?”… and he only had control over 2 things:
    1- how he spoke with and supported his wife
    2- who he knew in his circle of contacts that he could get in touch with to help her find a new job

    When he started focusing on those 2 things… everything changed. There was nothing he could do about what was happening inside her work environment!

  92. Love everything about this! One thing I often remind myself of is “you may not be able to control the situation, but you can I control how you react to it”

  98. A lot of people feel out of control all the time without realising what little things are within their grasp. It’s so easy to feel out of control in this world, but it can get you sucked into a swirl on negatively which is almost impossible to get out of.

  99. I’m still working on a lot of these, it’s just the nature of the beast. But it’s a work in progress. Thank you so much for stopping by.

  108. These are all great pointers. I know I need to work on some of these, especially worrying and how I react to others.

  109. I love these! It’s especially important to understand how you can control your reaction to others. I think a lot of people don’t quite understand how much they actually have control over their lives.

  110. These are some great pointers – I’ve pinned this as a reminder! I’m a massive control freak so I’ve found these tips really useful. I especially find taking a step back to think whether or not you can control something useful – it’s such a small thing but it works wonders!

  111. Well written and wonderful advice. When we look at things the way we would like to be treated we act differently. Keep up the good work. ❤❤

  113. This is such a beautiful post with so much wonderful advice!!! I especially love how you identify that we are in control of what information we consume. We all know that social media can have it’s very negative downpits but with some tweaking and some choice we can choose to make it a positive place. I make sure my newsfeeds stay filled with motivation, positivity and inspiration ♡♡♡

  114. ALL FACTS BOO!! ♥️ Great post! Thanks so much for being the inspiring person God created you to be! ????

  115. This was such a great post sometines we forget that we have control over certain aspects in our lives. And ultimately it’s up to us to change our situations.

  116. Loved this post! It’s so true. There are so many things out of our control, that we forget what we DO have control over. I think number 8 is where I struggle the most. I worry too much over things, when in reality, I’m just worrying for the sake of worrying, not over something specific. I know that’s anxiety, but a therapist in the past taught me, don’t worry until you literally have something to worry about. That’s something I’m still learning how to control, but it’s saved me so much time and stress when I do squash those worrying thoughts!

    Another fantastic post, Nyxie!! <3

    Emily | https://www.thatweirdgirllife.com

  117. Awesome List! I especially love number 9. I am working on this one because the way I speak to myself is important. Thank you for posting this.
    Liz

  118. That was great post. I agree with everything you said. I think we all are affected by each of the those behaviors at some time in our life. They are not always too easy. I do practice each of them. I have to actively remind myself sometimes. It is so easy to slip backwards.

  120. I found seven and eight particularly helpful. There’s a saying (I’m going to quote it wrong, but it’s something like this) that goes ‘the first thought is to do with the society you live in, the second is who you are’. I’ve seen it used in relation to racism mainly, but basically it’s about having a really judgemental/bigoted thought and ‘correcting’ yourself – and it being ok, because you can’t necessarily control that first thought, but you can control what you think of it after. Anyway, point seven really strongly reminded me of it, and I actually think about it quite often. Eight I just found useful, because I find it SO easy to just spiral into worry and let it consume me, so I could really do with remembering to step back when that happens 🙂

  122. Great topic! We also have control over who we allow in our space, whether to exercise or not, and whether we choose to be honest or not.

  124. This is such an important post! With the ever- increasing demands of the daily life, it is so necessary to stop and ask yourself what is truly worthy of your energy. And frankly, whatever is out of your control should not consume your energy at all.
    Thank you for this lovely post!

  126. Fantastic post! I’m definitely going to bookmark this for the next time I feel a bit overwhelmed.

  127. This is a great post! It is so important to focus on what we can change because that’s all that is truly worth focusing on. All the time spent on worrying about what we have no control over is truly time wasted, and just makes us stressed and miserable.

  128. I like the ‘how you treat others’ point. Everything comes back to you in some way, and those who take advantage of others to get gain will always end up on the bottom…in one way or another. You get out what you put in. I really like this.

  129. I like the ‘how you treat others’ point. Everything comes back to you in some way, and those who take advantage of others to get gain will always end up on the bottom…in one way or another. You get out what you put in. I really like this.

  130. This is a good read honestly I sometimes struggle with interrupting things I sometimes over think things or I’ll take something totally wrong from how it was meant. I will say that I do try to see things from other people perspectives ..I like the what you consume one too because people have no idea how that really ties into their everyday life

  131. This is amazing <3 I always struggle with stress over things I cannot control. This is a great reminder that the only things we can control are our own personal reactions to the situation. Thank you for sharing <3

  132. These are some really good tips and refreshing reminders to take a step back and breathe instead of jumping in right away. I’m definitely going to have to work on employing some of these! xx Auri

  133. Thanks for this post, it’s important to remind ourselves of the points that you made, and also just making decisions for ourselves. ❤️
    Nellé x

  136. This post acts as a reminder that we need to take a step back from time to time to realise we can control elements of our lives and in turn improve our wellbeing and mental health.

    Great post as ever x

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